JOHN: Sherlock!
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Its a trick.
Just a magic trick.
No. All right, stop it now.
Now, stay exactly where you are.
Dont move.' All right.
Keep your eyes fixed on me.
Please, would you do this for me?
Do what?
This phone call, its er...
...its my note.
Its what people do, don't they?
Leave a note.
Leave a note when?
Goodbye, John.
No. Dont...
Sherlock!
(JOHN MOANS)
John.
John, look at me. Look at me.
And sleep.
Right the way down, right the way deep, right the way, sound asleep.
Thats real.
Thats good, with my voice just there in the centre of your head
and floating all the way around you.
And you will awaken in three, two, one...
...zero.
Let me come through please! Hes my friend.
LESTRADE: Bollocks!
No, no, no, no, its obvious.
Thats how he did it. Its obvious.
Derren Brown?! Let it go, Sherlocke dead.
But is he?
There was a body, it was him.
It was definitely him, Molly Hooper laid him out.
No, shes lying.
It was Jim Moriartys body with a mask on.
A mask?
A bungee rope, a mask, Derren Brown.
Two years and the theories keep getting more stupid.
How many more have you got for me today?
Well, you know the paving slabs in that whole area,
even the exact ones that he landed on,
you know they were all... Guilt!
Thats all this is.
You pushed us all into thinking
that Sherlock that was a fraud, you and Donovan.
You did this and it killed him and hes staying dead.
Do you honestly believe that if you have enough stupid theories,
its going to change what really happened?
I believe in Sherlock Holmes.
Yeah, well, that wont bring him back.
And that after extensive police investigations...
Richard Brook did indeed prove to be the creation of James Moriarty...
MALE REPORTER: Amidst unprecedented scenes, there was uproar in court
as Sherlock Holmes was vindicated and cleared of all suspicion.
FEMALE REPORTER: Sadly, all this comes too late for the Detective,
who became something of a celebrity two years ago.
Questions are now being asked as to why police let matters get so far.
Sherlock Holmes fell to his death
from the top of Londons Barts Hospital. Although he left no note,
friends say its unlikely he was able to cope with the...
Well then. Absent friends.
Sherlock.
And may God rest his soul.
(HELICOPTER FLIES OVER)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(MAN SPEAKS IN SERBIAN)
(MEN SHOUT IN SERBIAN)
(DOGS BARK)
(BARKING GETS CLOSER)
(GUNSHOTS)
(LOUD MUSIC THROUGH HEADPHONES)
(THUMP)
(MAN GROANS)
(THUMPS CONTINUE)
(MAN SPEAKS IN SERBIAN)
(THUMPS AND SHOUTING CONTINUE)
(MAN GROANS)
(TRANSLATED FROM SERBIAN)
(PRISONER WHISPERS)
What?
(PRISONER WHISPERS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Now listen to me.
Theres an underground terrorist network active in London
and a massive attack is imminent.
Sorry, but the holiday is over...
...Brother dear.
Back to Baker Street...
...Sherlock Holmes.
CHILD: Penny for the guy?
Oi, mate, penny for the guy?
Penny for the guy, mate? Penny for the guy?
Penny for the guy?
JOHN: That was the most ridiculous thing Ive ever done.
SHERLOCK: You invaded Afghanistan.
(DOOR OPENS)
(HE CLEARS HIS THROAT)
You have been busy, havent you?
Quite the busy little bee. Hmm.
Moriartys network. Took me two years to dismantle it.
And youre confident you have?
The Serbian side was the last piece of the puzzle.
Yes. You got yourself in deep there with Baron Maupertuis.
Quite a scheme. Colossal.
Anyway. Youre safe now.
Mmm.
A small "thank you" wouldnt go amiss.
What for?
For wading in.
In case youve forgotten, field work is not my natural milieu.
"Wading in?"
You sat there and watched me being beaten a pulp.
I got you out. No, I got me out.
Why didn't you intervene sooner?
I couldnt risk giving myself away, could I?
It would have ruined everything. You were enjoying it. Nonsense.
Definitely enjoying it.
Listen, do you have any idea what it was like, Sherlock,
going undercover?
Smuggling my way into their ranks like that?
The noise, the people!
I didn't know you spoke Serbian.
I didn't. But the language has a Slavic root.
Frequent Turkish and German loan words.
Took me a couple of hours.
Hmm, youre slipping.
Middle-age, brother mine.
Comes to us all.
(DOOR OPENS)
Oh, no, you don't take it, do you?
No. You forget a little thing like that.
Yes.
You forget lots of little things, it seems.
Uh-huh.
Not sure about that.
Hmm? Ages you.
Just trying it out.
Well, it ages you.
Look... Im not your mother, Ive no right to expect it...
No... But just one phone call, John!
Just one phone call would have done.
I know.
After all we went through! Yes.
I am sorry.
Look, I understand how difficult it was for you after...
...after...
I just let it slide, Mrs. Hudson, I let it all slide.
And it just got harder and harder to pick up the phone, somehow.
Do you know what I mean?
(SHE SIGHS)
I need you to give this matter your full attention, Sherlock,
is that quite clear? What do you think of this shirt? Sherlock!
I will find your underground terror cell, Mycroft.
Just put me back in London.
I need to get to know the place again, breathe it in.
Feel every quiver of its beating heart.
One of our men died getting this information.
All the chatter, all the traffic concurs,
theres going to be a terrorist strike on London, a big one.
And what about John Watson?
John? Mm. Have you seen him? Oh, yes,
we meet up every Friday for fish and chips(!)
Ive kept a weather eye on him, of course.
We havent been in touch at all to... prepare him.
No.
Well, well have to get rid of that.
"We?" He looks ancient.
I cant be seen to be wandering around with an old man.
I couldnt face letting it out.
(SHE COUGHS)
He never liked me dusting.
No, I know.
So why now? What changed your mind?
Well, Ive got some news.
Oh, God, is it serious?
What? No, no, Im not ill.
Ive, well, Im...
...moving on.
Youre emigrating?
Nope. Er, no, Ive er...
...I have met someone.
Oh! Ah, lovely.
Yeah. Were getting married. Well, Im going to ask, anyway.
So soon after Sherlock?
Hmm, well, yes.
What's his name?
Its a woman.
A woman?! Yes, of course its a woman.
You really have moved on, havent you? Mrs. Hudson, how many times?
Sherlock was not my boyfriend!
Live and let live, thats my motto.
Listen to me - I am not gay!
(HE SIGHS)
I think Ill surprise John. Hell be delighted.
You think so?
Mm, pop into Baker Street, who knows, jump out of a cake.
Baker Street? He isnt there any more.
Why would he be? Its been two years.
Hes got on with his life.
What life? Ive been away.
Wheres he going to be tonight? How would I know? You always know.
He has a dinner reservation in the Marylebone Road.
Nice little spot.
They have a few bottles of the 2000 Saint-Emilion,
though I prefer the 2001.
I think maybe Ill just drop by.
You know, it is just possible that you wont be welcome.
No, it isnt.
Now, where is it? Wheres what? You know what.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
Welcome back, Mr. Holmes.
Thank you.
Blud.
Sir, can I help you?
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
(PHONE BEEPS)
Your wife just texted you, possibly her contractions have started.
Excuse me, sir.
Oh, sir, I am so, so sorry.
Er, please, let me just go to the kitchen and dry that off for you.
Finished with that, sir? Allow me to take it for you.
Madam, can I suggest you look at this menu, its completely identical.
IN A FRENCH ACCENT: Can I help you with anything, sir?
Hi, yeah, Im looking for a bottle of champagne. A good one.
Hmm, well, these are all
excellent vintages, sir.
Oh, its not really my area,
what do you suggest?
Well, you cannot possibly go wrong,
but if youd like my personal
recommendation... Hmm?
This last one on the list is a favourite of mine.
It is, you might in fact say, like a face from the past.
Great. I'll have that one please.
It is familiar, but with the quality of surprise!
Well, surprise me.
Im certainly endeavouring to, sir.
Sorry that took so long.
You OK?
Yeah, yeah. Me? Fine. I am fine.
(HE CHUCKLES)
Now then, what did you want to ask me?
More wine? No, Im good with water, thanks. Right.
So? Er, so...
Mary...
Listen, um...
I know it hasnt been long,
and I know we havent known each other for a long time...
Go on. Yes, I will.
As you know, these last couple of years havent been easy for me.
And meeting you...
Yeah, meeting you has been the best thing
that could have possibly happened. I agree. What?
I agree, Im the best thing that could have happened to you.
Sorry. Well, no, its, um...
So...
...if youll have me, Mary, could you see your way, um...
(HE CLEARS HIS THROAT)
(SHE GIGGLES)
If you could see your way to...
Sir, youll find this vintage exceptionally to your liking.
It has all the qualities of the old, with the colour of the new.
No, sorry, not now, please. Like a gaze from a crowd of strangers,
suddenly one is aware of staring into the face of an old friend.
No, look, seriously, could you just...?
Interesting thing, a tuxedo.
Lends distinction to friends and anonymity to waiters.
John?
John, what is it? What?
Well, the short version...
...not dead.
Bit mean springing it on you like that, I know.
Could have given you a heart attack, probably still will.
But in my defence, it was very funny.
OK, its not a great defence.
Oh, no, youre... Oh, yes. Oh, my God!
Not quite. You died, you jumped off a roof.
No. Youre dead.
No, Im quite sure, I checked. Excuse me.
Does... does yours rub off too?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Do you have any idea what youve done?!
OK, John, Im suddenly realising I probably owe you
some sort of an apology...
All right, just, John, just keep...
(JOHN GASPS)
Two years.
Two years! Hmm?
I thought...
...you were dead.
Hmm?
(JOHN GASPS)
Now, you let me grieve. Hmm.
How could you do that?
How?!
Wait, before you do anything that you might regret, um,
one question, just let me ask one question.
Are you really going to keep that?
MUSIC: "Donde Estas, Yolanda?" by Pink Martini
I calculated that there were 13 possibilities
once ID invited Moriarty onto the roof.
I wanted to avoid dying, if at all possible.
The first scenario involved hurling myself into a parked van filled with washing bags.
Impossible, the angle was too steep. Secondly, a system of Japanese wrestling...
You know, for a genius, you can be remarkably thick.
What? I don't care how you faked it, Sherlock.
I want to know why.
Why? Because Moriarty had to be stopped.
Oh.
Why, as in...?
I see. Yes. Why?
Thats a little more difficult to explain.
Ive got all night.
(HE CLEARS HIS THROAT)
Actually, um, that was mostly Mycrofts idea.
Oh, so it was your brothers plan?
Oh, but he would have needed a confidante.
Mm-hm.
Sorry.
But he was the only one? The only one who knew?
A couple of others. It was a very elaborate plan, it had to be.
The next of the 13 possibilities was... Who else?
Who else knew?
Who?! Molly.
Molly?! John... Molly Hooper
and some of my homeless network and thats all. OK.
OK.
So just your brother, Molly Hooper and 100 tramps.
Ha, no! 25 at most.
(GLASS SHATTERS)
Seriously, its not a joke? Youre really keeping this?
Er, yeah.
Sure?
Mary likes it.
Hmm, no, she doesn't.
She does. She doesn't.
Oh, don't.
Oh, brilliant(!) Look, Im sorry, Im sorry,
I didn't know how to tell you...
Right, no, no, this is charming. Ive really missed this(!)
One word, Sherlock, that is all I would have needed!
One word to let me know that you were alive!
Ive nearly been in contact so many times, but... John SCOFFS
I worried that, you know, you might say something indiscreet. What?
You know, let the cat out of the bag. So this is my fault!
Oh, God! Why am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong?!
The only one reacting like a human being!
Over-reacting. Over-reacting!
John! Over-reacting! So you fake your own death and you waltz in here
large as bloody life! Shh. But Im not meant to have a problem with it,
cos Sherlock Holmes thinks its a perfectly OK thing to do!
Shut up! I don't want everyone knowing Im still alive!
Oh, so its still a secret, is it?! Yes, its still a secret!
Promise you wont tell anyone? Swear to God!
London is in danger, John. Theres an imminent
terrorist attack and I need your help.
My help?
You have missed this, admit it.
The thrill of the chase, the blood pumping through your veins,
just the two of us against the rest of the world.
I don't understand, I said Im sorry,
isnt that what youre supposed to do?
Gosh, you don't know anything about human nature, do you?
Hmm, nature? No.
Human? No.
I'll talk him round.
You will? Oh, yeah.
Mary.
Can you believe his nerve?
I like him.
What?
I like him.
(METALLIC SOUND)
Those things will kill you.
Oh, you bastard!
Its time to come back.
Youve been letting things slide, Graham.
Greg. Greg.
RADIO: Very common belief, with an anti terrorism bill...
(THUDDING)
...the Government feels duty-bound
to push through the legislation with all due exped...
(THUDDING CONTINUES)
(SHE YELLS)
Now, stay exactly where you are.
Where are you?
Dont move.
Keep your eyes fixed on me.
What? What's happening? What's going on?
Please, will you do this for me? Please.
Do what?
This phone call...
its my note.
Thats what people do, don't they?
Leave a note. MORIARTY GIGGLES.
Leave a note when?
Goodbye, John. No.
(MORIARTY LAUGHS)
Sherlock!
Oh, ho!
What?! Are you out of your mind?!
I don't see why not.
Its just as plausible as some of your theories.
Look, if youre not going to take it seriously, Laura...
I do take it seriously.
I don't think we should wear hats.
I founded The Empty Hearse' so like-minded people could meet,
discuss theories!
Sherlocke still out there.
Im convinced of it.
Oh, my God!
(MOBILE PHONES RING)
Oh... my... God!
"His movements were so silent,"
"so furtive he reminded me"
"of a trained bloodhound picking out a scent."
You what? "I couldnt help thinking what an amazing criminal hed make"
"if he turned his talents against the law." Dont read that.
Famous blog, finally. Come on, thats...
Ancient history, yes, I know, but its not though, is it, because hes...
What are you doing?
Having a wash.
Youre shaving it off.
Well, you hate it. Sherlock hates it.
Apparently everyone hates it. Oh!
Are you going to see him again? No, Im going to work.
Oh, and after work, are you going to see him again? No.
God, I had six months of bristly kisses for me
and then his nibs turns up...
I don't shave for Sherlock Holmes.
You should put that on a T-shirt.
Shut up. Or what?
Or Ill marry you.
London, its like a great cesspool into which all kinds
of criminals, agents and drifters are irresistibly drained.
Sometimes its not a question of who, its a question of who knows?
If this man cancels his papers, I need to know.
If this woman leaves London without putting her dog into kennels,
I need to know.
I have certain people, they are markers.
If they start to move, I'll know somethings up.
Like rats deserting a sinking ship.
All very interesting, Sherlock,
but the terror alert has been raised to critical.
Boring. Your move.
We have solid information, an attack IS coming.
Solid information, a secret terrorist organisation is planning an attack...
Thats what secret terrorist organisations do, isnt it? Its their version of golf.
An agent gave his life to tell us that. Oh, well,
perhaps he shouldn't have done. He was obviously just trying to show off.
None of these markers' of yours is behaving in any way suspiciously?
Your move.
No, Mycroft, but you have to trust me. I'll find the answer.
But itll be in an odd phrase in an on-line blog,
or an unexpected trip to the countryside,
or a misplaced lonely hearts ad.
Your move!
Ive given the Prime Minister my personal assurance youre on the case.
I am on the case, we both are, look at us right now.
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
Oh, bugger! Whoopsy!
Cant handle a broken heart. How very telling.
Dont be smart.
That takes me back.
"Dont be smart, Sherlock, Im the smart one."
I am the smart one.
I used to think I was an idiot.
Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock.
We had nothing else to go on, until we met other children.
Oh, yes, that was a mistake. Ghastly. What were they thinking of?
Probably something about trying to make friends.
Oh, yes. Friends.
Of course, you go in for that sort of thing now.
And you don't? Ever?
If you seem slow to me, Sherlock,
can you imagine what real people are like?
Im living in a world of goldfish.
Yes, but Ive been away for two years.
So? Oh, I don't know,
I thought perhaps you might have found yourself a...
goldfish. Change the subject, now.
Rest assured, Mycroft,
whatever this underground network of yours is up to,
the secret will reside in something seemingly insignificant or bizarre.
Ooh-ooh. Speaking of which...
I cant believe it. I just cant believe it!
Him sitting in his chair again.
Oh, isnt it wonderful, Mr. Holmes?
I can barely contain myself(!) Oh, he really can, you know.
Hes secretly pleased to see you, underneath all that.
Sorry, which of us?
Both of you.
Lets play something different.
Why are we playing games?!
Londons terror alert has been raised to critical,
Im just passing the time.
Lets do deductions.
Client left this while I was out, what do you reckon?
Im busy.
Oh, go on, its been an age.
(HE SNIFFS)
I always win. Which is why you cant resist.
I find nothing irresistible in the hat of a well-travelled anxious,
sentimental, unfit creature of habit with appalling halitosis.
Damn. Isolated too, don't you think?
Why would he be isolated?
"He?" Obviously. Why? Size of the hat?
Dont be silly. Some women have large heads too.
No, hes recently had his hair cut,
you can see the little hairs adhering to the perspiration stains on the inside.
Some women have short hair too.
Balance of probability. Not that youve ever spoken
to a woman with short hair, or, you know, a woman.
Stains show hes out of condition. Hes sentimental cos the hat
has been repaired, three, four... Five times. Very neatly.
The cost of the repairs exceeds that of the hat,
hes mawkishly attached to it. More than that.
One or two patches would indicate sentimentality.
Fives obsessive behaviour. Obsessive compulsive.
Hardly. Your client left it behind.
What sort of an obsessive compulsive would do that?
The earlier patches are extensively sun bleached,
so hes worn it abroad, in Peru.
Peru? This is a chullo.
The classic headgear of Andes, its made of alpaca.
No. No? Icelandic sheep wool. Similar, but very distinctive,
if you know what youre looking for. Ive written a blog on the varying
tensile strengths of different natural fibres.
Im sure theres a crying need for that(!)
You said he was anxious? The bobble on the left side has been badly chewed,
which shows hes a man of a nervous disposition, but...
But also a creature of habit,
cos he hasnt chewed the bobble on the right. Precisely.
A sniff of the offending bobble tells us all
we need to know about the state of his breath.
Brilliant! Elementary.
But youve missed his isolation.
I don't see it.
Plain as day. Where?
There for all to see. Tell me.
Plain as the nose on your... Tell me!
Well, anybody who wears a hat as stupid as this
isnt in the habit of hanging around other people, is he?
Not at all. Maybe he just doesn't mind being different.
He doesn't necessarily have to be isolated.
Exactly.
Im sorry?
Hes different, so what? Why would he mind?
Youre quite right.
Why would anyone mind?
I am not lonely, Sherlock.
How would you know?
Yes. Back to work, if you don't mind. Good morning.
(SHE CHUCKLES)
Right, back to work.
(KNOCKING ON THE DOOR)
Mr. Summerson.
Right. Undescended testicle.
Right.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Sherlock? Hmm?
Talk to John.
Ive tried talking to him. He made his position quite clear.
Just relax, Mr. Summerson.
What did he say?
F... Cough.
Oh, dear.
(INTERCOM BUZZES)
Hi?
Mrs. Reeves. Thrush.
Right.
You wanted to see me?
Yes. Molly...
Yes? Would you...?
Would you like to... Have dinner? ..Solve crimes?
Um...
Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, Mrs. Reeves.
Its very common, but Im recommending a course of...
Monkey glands, but enough about Professor Presbury.
Tell us more about your case, Mr. Harcourt. You sure about this? Absolutely.
Should I be making notes? If it makes you feel better. Thats what John says he does.
So if Im being John... Youre not being John, youre being yourself.
Well, absolutely no one should have been able to empty
that bank account other than myself and Helen.
Why didn't you assume it was your wife? Because Ive always had total faith in her.
No, its because YOU emptied it. Weight-loss, hair dye, Botox, affair.
Lawyer. Next!
This is Mr. Blake. Piles.
Mr. Blake, hi.
And your pen-pals emails just stopped, did they?
(SHE WHINES)
And you really thought he was the one, didn't you?
The love of your life?
(SHE CRIES)
Stepfather posing as on-line boyfriend.
What?
Breaks it off, breaks her heart.
She swears off relationships, stays at home.
He still has her wage coming in.
Mr. Windibank, you have been a complete and utter...
Piss pot.
Its nothing to worry about, just a small infection, by the sound of it.
Dr Verner is your usual GP, yes?
IN A FOREIGN ACCENT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looked after me man and boy.
I run a little shop just on the corner of Church Street.
Oh. Magazines and DVDs.
Ive brought along a few little beauties that might interest you...
Tree Worshippers. Oh, thats a corker. Its very saucy.
And British Birds. Same sort of thing.
Im fine, thanks.
The Holy War.
Sounds a bit dry, I know,
but theres a nun with all these holes in her habit...
Jesus! Sherlock.
What? What do you want?
Uh?
Have you come to torment me? What are you talking about? "What are you talking...?"
What, do you think Im going to be fooled by this bloody beard?!
Youre crazy! No, no, no, no, no.
Its not as good as your French! Not as good as your French.
Its not even a good disguise, Sherlock!
Where did you get it from, a bloody joke shop...?!
Oh, my God!
I, I am so sorry.
Oh, my God!
Please...
Its fine.
(HE CLEARS HIS THROAT)
This ones got us all baffled.
Hmm, I don't doubt it.
(HE SNIFFS)
What is it?
Youre onto something, arent you?
Maybe.
JOHNS VOICE: Show off!
Shut up, John. What? Hmm?
Nothing.
Hello. Hmm.
Are you sure? Im sure. OK.
Im late for Cath. I'll see you later.
Bye. Bye.
This going to be your new arrangement, is it?
Just giving it a go.
Right.
So, John?
Not really in the picture any more.
(RUMBLING NOISE)
Trains?
Trains.
Male, 40 to 50. Oh, sorry, did you want to be...?
Er, no, please, be my guest.
You jealous?
Shut up!
It doesn't make sense.
What doesn't?
This skeleton, it cant be any more than...
MOLLY AND SHERLOCK: Six months old.
Wow!
"How I Did It, by Jack the Ripper."
Uh-huh. Thats impossible. Welcome to my world.
Smart arse!
I wont insult your intelligence by explaining it to you.
No, please, insult away.
You forgot to put your collar up.
The corpse is, is six months old.
Its dressed in a shoddy Victorian outfit from a museum.
Its been displayed on a dummy for many years,
in a case facing South-east, judging from the fading of the fabric.
It was sold off in a fire damage sale a week ago.
So the whole thing was a fake?
Yes.
Looked so promising.
Facile.
Why would someone go to all that trouble?
Why indeed, John?
DOORBELL: Mind the gap. Mind the gap.
Oh. Thanks for hanging onto it.
No problem.
So, what's this all about, Mr. Shilcott?
My girlfriends a big fan of yours.
Girlfriend?!
Sorry. Do go on.
I like trains.
Yes... I work on the Tube, on the District Line, and part of my job
is to wipe the security footage after its been cleared.
I was just whizzing through and I found something a bit bizarre.
Now, this was a week ago.
The last train on the Friday night, Westminster Station.
Now, this man gets into the last car.
Car? Theyre cars, not carriages.
Its a legacy of the early American involvement in the Tube system.
He said he liked trains.
And the next stop, St James' Park Station.
And...
I thought youd like it.
He gets into the last car at Westminster. The only passenger.
And the car is empty at St James' Park Station.
Explain that, Mr. Holmes.
Couldnt he have just jumped off? Theres a safety mechanism that prevents the doors
from opening in transit. But theres something else,
the driver of that train hasnt been to work since.
According to his flatmate, hes on holiday. Came into some money.
Bought off?
Hmm?
So if the driver of the train was in on it,
then the passenger did get off.
Theres nowhere he could go. Its a straight run
on the District Line between the two stations.
Theres no side tunnels, no maintenance tunnels.
Nothing on any map. Nothing.
Train never stops and a man vanishes.
Good, innit?
I know that face.
(JOHN CLEARS HIS THROAT)
Excuse you(!)
The journey between those stations usually takes five minutes
and that one took ten. Ten minutes to get from Westminster to St James' Park.
I'll need maps, lots of maps. Older maps, all the maps. Right.
Fancy some chips? What?
I know a fantastic fish shop just off the Marylebone Road,
the owner always gives me extra portions.
Did you get him off a murder charge?
No, I helped him put up some shelves.
Sherlock? Hmm?
What was today about? Saying thank you.
For what?
For everything you did for me. Its OK. Its my pleasure.
No. I mean it.
I don't mean pleasure, I mean I didn't mind.
I wanted to... Moriarty slipped up, he made a mistake.
Because the one person he thought didn't matter at all to me
was the one person that mattered the most.
You made it all possible.
But you cant do this again, can you?
Ive had a lovely day. ID love to, I just, um...
Hmm, congratulations, by the way.
Hes not from work.
We met through friends, old-fashioned way.
Hes nice, weve got a dog, we, we go to the pub on weekends
and Ive met his mum and dad and his friends and all his family.
Ive no idea why Im telling you any of this...
I hope youll be very happy, Molly Hooper.
You deserve it.
After all, not all the men you fall for can turn out to be sociopaths.
No? No.
Maybe its just my type.
(HE COUGHS)
(PHONE BEEPS)
Oh, Mrs. Hudson, sorry, I think someones got John. John Watson?
Hang on, who are you?!
Oh, Im his fiancee.
Oh. Mary?
What's wrong?
Someone sent me this.
At first I thought it was just a Bible thing,
you know, spam, but its not.
Its a skip code.
First word, then every third.
"Save John Watson."
Now!
Where are we going?
St James The Less, its a church. 20 minutes by car.
Did you drive here? Er, yes.
Its too slow, its too slow.
(CAR HORN HONKS)
Watch out! What are we waiting for?!
This.
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
What does it mean?
What are they going to do to him?
I don't know!
(VOICES IN THE BACKGROUND)
(HE GASPS)
Damn!
POLICEMAN: Oi! Oi! You cant go down there!
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
(HE GASPS)
(HE GAGS)
(HORN HONKS)
No, its not going to work, with that.
I'll get something to help it along. Yeah.
Help! Argh!
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
He doesn't like it, Daddy. Huh?
Guy Fawkes, he doesn't like it.
Stay back, Zoe. Back!
Now.
(HE SCREAMS)
What does it mean?
Oh, my God!
(CHEERING)
Help!
(SHE SCREAMS)
Stand back!
(JOHN GROANS)
Move! Move! Move!
Move! Move!
John! John!
Get up, John!
John! John?!
Help!
John!
John! John!
Hey, John.
ELDERLY LADY: Which wasnt the way ID put it at all. Silly woman.
Anyway, it was then that I first noticed it was missing.
I said, "Have you checked down the back of the sofa?"
Hes always losing things down the back of the sofa, arent you, dear?
Afraid so.
Oh, keys, small change, sweeties.
Especially his glasses. Glasses.
Blooming things. I said, "Why don't you get a chain,"
"wear them round your neck?"
And he says, "What, like Larry Grayson!" Larry Grayson.
So did you find it eventually, your lottery ticket?
Well, yes, thank goodness.
We caught the coach on time after all.
We managed to see St Pauls, the Tower,
but they werent letting anyone into Parliament.
Some big debate going on.
(DOOR OPENS)
John? Sorry, youre busy. No, no, no, they were just leaving.
No, oh, were we? Yes. No, no, if youve got a case...
No, not a case. Yeah, go. Were here till
Saturday, remember. Yes, wonderful. Just get out!
Yes, well, give us a ring. Very nice, yes, good. Get out!
I cant tell you how glad we are, Sherlock.
All that time people thinking the worst.
Were just so pleased its all over.
Ring up more often, wont you?
Mm-hm. She worries.
Promise?
Promise.
Oh, for God...
(HE SIGHS)
Sorry about that. No, its fine.
Clients?
Just my parents.
Your parents? In town for a few days.
Your parents? Mycroft promised to take them to a matinee of Les Mis.
Tried to talk me into doing it.
Those were your parents? Yes.
Well...
...that is not what I...
What?
I mean, they're just so...
...ordinary.
Its a cross I have to bear.
Did they know too?
Hmm? That you spent the last two years playing hide and seek?
Maybe. Ah, so thats why they werent at the funeral!
Sorry, sorry again. Hmm.
Sorry.
So youve shaved it off then?
Yeah. Wasnt working for me.
Yeah, Im glad. You didn't like it?
No, I prefer my doctors clean-shaven.
Thats not a sentence you hear every day.
How are you feeling?
Yeah, not bad. Bit smoked.
Right.
Last night, who did that?
And why did they target me?
I don't know.
Is it someone trying to get to you through me?
Is it something to do with this terrorist thing you talked about?
I don't know, I cant see the pattern. Its too nebulous.
Why would an agent give his life to tell us something
incredibly insignificant? Thats what's strange.
Give his life? According to Mycroft.
Theres an underground network planning an attack on London, thats all we know.
(HE SNIFFS)
These are my rats, John. Rats?
My markers, agents, lowlifes. People who might find themselves
arrested or their diplomatic immunity suddenly rescinded.
If one of them starts acting suspiciously, we know somethings up.
Five of them are behaving perfectly normally, but the sixth...
I know him, don't I?
Lord Moran, Peer of the Realm. Minister for Overseas Development.
Pillar of the Establishment. Yes.
Hes been working for North Korea since 1996.
What? Hes the big rat, rat number one.
Hes just done something very suspicious indeed.
Yeah, thats odd.
Theres nowhere he could have got off?
Not according to the maps.
Theres something, something, something Im missing.
Something staring me in the face.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Any idea who they are, this underground network?
Intelligence must have a list of the most obvious ones.
Our rats just come out of his den.
Al-Qaeda? The IRA have been getting restless again,
maybe they're going to make an appearance... Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Ive been an idiot, a blind idiot!
What? Oh, thats good. That could be brilliant!
What are you on about? Mycrofts intelligence is not nebulous at all,
its specific, incredibly specific.
What do you mean?
Its not an underground network, John, its an Underground network!
Right.
What? Sometimes a deception is so audacious, so outrageous
that you cant see it even when its staring you in the face. Look,
seven carriages leave Westminster. Mm.
And only six carriages arrive at St James' Park.
Ah, but thats, I mean, its impossible.
Moran didn't disappear. The entire tube compartment did.
The driver must have diverted the train and then detached the last carriage.
Detached it where? You said there was nothing between those stations.
Not on the maps, but once you eliminate the other factors,
the remaining thing must be the truth. That carriage vanished, so it must be somewhere.
But why, though?
Why detach it in the first place?
It vanishes between St James' Park and Westminster.
Lord Moran vanishes.
Youre kidnapped and nearly burnt to death at a fireworks party.
What's the date, John, todays date?
Hmm? November the...
Oh, God!
Lord Moran, hes a Peer of the Realm.
Normally hed sit in the House.
Tonight, theres an all-night sitting to vote on the new anti-terrorism bill.
But he wont be there, not tonight.
Not the 5th November.
"Remember, remember..."
"Gunpowder, treason and plot!"
Theres nothing down there, Mr. Holmes, I told you.
No sidings, no ghost stations.
There has to be, check again.
This whole area is a big mess of old and new stuff.
Charing Cross is made up of bits of older stations,
like Trafalgar Square, Strand.
No, its none of those, weve accounted for those.
St Margaret Street, Bridge Street, Sumatra Road, Parliament Street...
Hang on, hang on, Sumatra Road?
You mentioned Sumatra Road, Mr. Holmes? There is something,
I knew it rang a bell! Yes.
There was a station down there.
Well, why isnt it on the maps?
Because it was closed before it ever opened.' What?
They built the platforms, even the staircases, but it all got tied up
in legal disputes and so they never built the station on the surface.
Its right underneath the Palace of Westminster.
So what's down there, a bomb?
Oh.
With many commentators saying
the vote on the Terrorism Bill will be too close to call,
MPs are now making their way into the Chamber for what
the Government is calling "the most important vote of this Parliament."
Over now to our...
What freedoms exactly are we protecting
if we start spying on our own people?
This is a Orwellian measure on a scale unprecedented...
Theres a bomb, then? The tube carriage is carrying a bomb.
Must be. Right.
What are you doing? Im calling the police. What? No!
Sherlock, this isnt a game, they need to evacuate Parliament.
Theyll get in the way, they always do. This is cleaner, more efficient.
And illegal? A bit.
What are you doing?
Coming.
I don't understand. Well, thats a first.
Theres nowhere else it could be.
(SCREAMING)
Oh!
What?!
Hang on, Sherlock...? What? Thats, isnt it live?
Perfectly safe as long as we avoid touching the rails.
Of course, yeah, avoid the rails. Great!
This way.
Are you sure? Sure.
Ha!
Look at that.
John... Hmm?
Demolition charges.
Its empty. Theres nothing.
Isnt there?
This is the bomb.
What?
Its not carrying explosives, the whole compartment is the bomb.
(HE GASPS)
We need bomb disposal.
There may not be time for that now.
So what do we do?
I have no idea.
Well, think of something. Why do you think I know what to do?
Cos youre Sherlock Holmes, youre as clever as it gets.
It doesn't mean I know how to diffuse a giant bomb!
What about you?! I wasnt in bomb disposal, Im a bloody doctor!
And a soldier, as you keep reminding us all!
Cant... Cant we rip the timer off, or something?
That would set it off. You see, you know things!
(BEEPING)
Oh!
Er... My God!
Er...
(JOHN GASPS)
Why didn't you call the police?!
Can you just...? Why do you never call the police?!
Well, its no use now.
So you cant switch the bomb off?!
You cant switch the bomb off and you didn't call the police!
Go, John. Go now!
Theres no point now, is there, because theres not enough time
to get away and if we don't do this, other people will die!
(SHERLOCK SIGHS)
Mind palace!
Hmm? Use your mind palace!
How will that help?
Youve salted away every fact under the sun!
And you think Ive just got "how to defuse a"
"bomb" tucked away in there somewhere?! Yes!
Maybe.
Think!
Think, please think.
Think!
I cant!
Oh, my God!
This is it.
Um, er...
(SHERLOCK BREATHES HEAVILY)
Oh, my God!
Turn that off. Oh, God!
Er, um, er...
Im sorry.
What?
I cant, I cant do it, John.
I don't know how.
Forgive me.
What?!
Please, John, forgive me,
for all the hurt that I caused you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, this is a trick. No.
Another one of your bloody tricks.
No. Youre just trying to make me say something nice.
Not this time.
Its just to make you look good even though youve behaved like...
I wanted you not to be dead.
Yeah, well, be careful what you wish for.
If I hadnt come back, you wouldnt be standing there and...
...youd still have a future, with Mary.
Yeah, I know.
Look, I find it difficult. I find it difficult, this sort of stuff.
I know.
You were the best and the wisest man that I have ever known.
Yes, of course I forgive you.
The criminal network Moriarty headed was vast.
Its roots were everywhere, like a cancer, so we came up with a plan.
Mycroft fed Moriarty information about me.
Moriarty, in turn, gave us hints,
just hints as to the extent of his web.
We let him go, because it was important to let him believe
he had the upper hand.
And then, I sat back and watched Moriarty
destroy my reputation, bit by bit.
I had to make him believe hed beaten me,
utterly defeated me, and then hed show his hand.
There were 13 likely scenarios once we were up on that roof.
Each of them were rigorously worked out and given a code name.
It wasnt just my reputation that Moriarty needed to bury.
I had to die.
Sherlock!
You can have me arrested, you can torture me,
you can do anything you like with me,
but nothings going to prevent them from pulling the trigger.
Your only three friends in the world will die, unless...
Unless I kill myself and complete your story.
Youve got to admit thats sexier.
But the one thing I didn't anticipate was just how far.
Moriarty was prepared to go. I suppose that was obvious,
given our first meeting at the swimming pool.
His death wish.
Argh!
(GUNSHOT)
I knew I didn't have long.
I contacted my brother, set the wheels in motion.
And then everyone got to work.
Its a trick.
Its just a magic trick.
All right, stop it now.
Now, stay exactly where you are.
Dont move!
All right.
Keep your eyes fixed on me.
Please, will you do this for me?
It was vital that John stayed just where ID put him
and that way his view was blocked by the ambulance station.
Sherlock!
I needed to hit the air-bag,
which I did.
Speed was Paramount.
The air-bag needed to be got out of the way
just as John cleared the station.
But we needed him to see a body.
Thats where Molly came in.
Like figures on a weather clock, we went one way, John went the other.
Then, our well-timed cyclist...
...put John briefly out of action,
giving me time to switch places with the corpse on the pavement.
The rest was just window dressing.
And one final touch, a squash ball under the armpit.
Apply enough pressure and it momentarily cuts off the pulse.
Let me come through, please!
Its all right... No, hes my friend.
Its all right. No, hes my friend.
Its all right, its all right... Hes my friend, please.
Everything was anticipated, every eventuality allowed for.
It worked perfectly.
Molly. Molly Hooper? She was in on it?
Yes. You remember the little girl who was abducted by Moriarty?
(SHE SCREAMS)
Get out!
You assumed she reacted like that because I was her kidnapper.
But I deduced Moriarty must have found someone who looked
very like me to plant suspicion, and that that man, whoever he was,
had to be got out of the way as soon as his usefulness ended.
That meant there was a corpse in the morgue somewhere
that looked just like me.
Clever.
Molly found the body, faked the records
and I provided the other coat.
Ive got lots of coats.
What about the sniper aiming at John?
Mycrofts men intervened before he could take the shot.
He was invited to reconsider.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
Is it done?
Good.
And your homeless network?
As I explained, the whole street was closed off.
Like a scene from a play.
Neat, don't you think?
Hmm...
What?
Not the way ID have done it.
Oh, really?
No, Im not saying its not clever, but... What?
Bit... disappointed.
Oh. Everyones a critic. Anyway, thats not why I came.
No? No, I think you know why Im here, Phillip.
"How I Did It, by Jack the Ripper?"
Didnt you think it was intriguing?
Lurid. A case so sensational you hoped ID be interested.
But you overdid it, Phillip. You and your little fan-club.
I just couldnt live with myself, knowing that ID driven you to...
But you didn't. You were always right, I wasnt dead.
No. No, and everything's OK now, isnt it?
Yeah. Yeah.
Though of course youve wasted police time.
Perverted the course of justice.
Risked distracting me from a massive terrorist assault that could have
both destroyed Parliament and caused the death of hundreds of people.
Oh, God! Oh, God, Im sorry, Sherlock!
Im so sorry. HE CRIES.
Hang on.
That doesn't make sense.
How could you be sure John would stand on that exact spot?
I mean, what if hed moved?
And... how did you do it all so quickly?
What if the bike hadnt hit him?
And anyway, why are you telling me all this?
(HE CHUCKLES)
If youd pulled that off, Im the last person youd tell the truth to!
Sherlock Holmes!
(SHERLOCK GIGGLES)
You... Oh, your face!
...utter... Your face!
You!
Totally had you! You cock!
I knew it! I knew it! You... Oh, those things you said, such sweet things.
I never knew you cared. I will, Ill kill you if you ever breathe a word of this...
Scouts honour... to anyone! You knew!
You knew how to turn it off!
Theres an off switch.
Theres always an off switch.
Terrorists can get into all sorts of problems
unless theres an off switch.
So why did you let me go through all that?! I didn't lie altogether.
Ive absolutely no idea how to turn any of these silly little lights off.
(SHERLOCK GIGGLES)
(NOISE FROM WALKIE TALKIES)
And you did call the police? Of course I called the police.
Im definitely going to kill you!
Oh, please. Killing me, thats so two years ago.
(SHERLOCK LAUGHS)
(GUN COCKS)
MUSIC: "Do You Hear The People Sing" from Les Miserables.
MYCROFT: Sherlock, please, I beg of you.
You can take over at the interval.
Oh, Im sorry, brother dear, but you made a promise.
Nothing I can do to help.
But you don't understand the pain of it, the horror.
Come on, youll have to go down, they want the story.
In a minute.
Im really pleased, Mary. Have you set a date?
Well, we thought May. Ah, a spring wedding. Yeah.
Well, once weve actually got engaged. Yeah.
We were interrupted last time. Yeah. Well, I cant wait.
You will be there, Sherlock?
Weddings, not really my thing.
Hello, everyone. Hello, Molly.
This is Tom. Tom, this is everyone. Hi.
Hi. Its really nice to meet you all. Hi.
Wow! Yeah, hi, Im John, good to meet you.
Ready? Ready.
Champagne?
Yes.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Sit down, love. Oh, thanks.
So um...
Is it serious, you two?
Yeah. Ive moved on.
Did you...?
Im not saying a word. No, best not.
But Im still waiting. Hmm?
Why did they try and kill me?
If they knew you were onto them, why come after me?
Put me in a bonfire?
I don't know. I don't like not knowing.
Unlike the nicely embellished fictions on your blog, John,
real life is rarely so neat.
I don't know who was behind all this, but I will find out,
I promise you.
Dont pretend youre not enjoying this.
Hmm? Being back. Being a hero again.
Dont be stupid. Youd have to be an idiot not to see it.
You love it. Love what?
Being Sherlock Holmes.
I don't even know what thats supposed to mean.
Sherlock, you are going to tell me how you did it?
How you jumped off that building and survived?
You know my methods, John, I am known to be indestructible.
No, but seriously.
When you were dead, I went to your grave.
I should hope so.
I made a little speech.
I actually spoke to you.
I know. I was there.
I asked you for one more miracle.
I asked you to stop being dead.
I heard you.
Anyway, time to go and be Sherlock Holmes.
(CAMERAS SNAP)
SHERLOCKS VOICE: John!
MARYS VOICE: John!
John!
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